The Maple Diet

Those of you who know them probably understand that there is a distinctive Parsons look: it's spare, lean and rather contemplative. But mostly spare. You may be able to discern a little family resemblance here:

That was a while ago, granted (Henry and Ed, the current farm owners, are second and fifth from left respectively). But while there may be a few more gray hairs now, the basic physique remains the same.

My family doesn't have that kind of look. I used to think this was some kind of genetic thing that couldn't be helped, but now I've come to realize that the Parsons' popular, hungry look can be yours and mine too, if we just work at it. And by work, I mean work. All. Day. No stopping. Hard. Because that's what these Parsons do. And I think that's their trick. Really, there's only so much weight you can gain when you milk morning and afternoon, and collect sap all the waking hours in between.

Because gathering maple sap definitely helps. Prior to the last few weeks, I had attended one pilates class in my life (plus a few sessions on home vcr, but that doesn't really count). It was hard. We had to assume contorted poses for far too long, all for the sake of establishing better core muscles. The instructor assuredly told me I would have NDMD, next day muscle disorder. I didn't really though; I was a little sore, but nothing much. The Monday after a weekend lifting sap buckets, however, was a different story!! My muscles were sore all over, but mostly around the butt and thighs, which I took to be a good thing.

So that's the maple diet, or plan, we recommend. During the season, haul as many five gallon pails as you can for several hours at a time. (Ethan, obviously another Parsons, demonstrates right.) Take very little time off. Guaranteed to get you in shape! If you don't have any sap handy, we can provide you with some to lift! (During the off-season, you may have to substitute tossing hay bales, but it should keep you ready for next year.)

I did read about another maple diet though. Or at least one that features maple fairly prominently: the lemon cleanse. Apparently, if you subsist on lemon juice, maple syrup and spices for 10 days, this will cleanse you well. I have to admit to a little skepticism, but I cannot speak from experience on this. I suppose after 10 days of intaking very little I would feel cleansed, in a manner of speaking. And hungry. If anyone has tried it, let us know!


This weekend I spent a little more time on the inside of the sugar house, but some not-terribly-good photos is all I got for now. Rustic, eh?